Your First Phone Call to Someone From AA
Someone at an AA meeting offered you their number and said you could call. At home, you may still wonder what you are supposed to say. A short first call can start with where you met and a request for a few minutes to talk.
Start with the connection they will recognise
Try, “Hi, it's Alex. We met at the Tuesday meeting and you gave me your number. Is now a good time for a quick call?” Use your own name and the meeting you actually attended. The reminder helps the person place you without needing a long introduction.
If they cannot talk, ask whether another time would suit them. They may offer a time, suggest texting first or explain that their availability changes. Save the preference with their permission. A number on your phone becomes more useful when you know how the person prefers to be contacted.
Say one thing you want from the conversation
You might want to ask about the next meeting, mention something you identified with or say that you have been finding the evening difficult. “I'm feeling unsettled and would like to talk to another member for a few minutes” is clear. You can say more as the conversation develops.
AA includes a chapter on phone contact in Living Sober. The official audio chapter about using the telephone offers fellowship experience on reaching other members. You can listen before making a call or discuss a part that stood out to you afterward.
Check privacy and leave a simple message
Ask whether it is okay to mention AA in a voicemail or text. The person may share a device, be at work or prefer a discreet message. Your own preference matters too. You can say, “Please just use my first name if you leave a message.”
If the call goes unanswered, leave an agreed, brief message and try another willing contact if you need a conversation now. Our recovery contact list guide helps organise those options.
Agree an ending and the next contact
When it is time to finish, thank the person and confirm any practical arrangement you made. “Thanks for talking. I'll see you at the Wednesday meeting” closes the call clearly. You do not have to promise daily calls or choose a sponsor during the first conversation.
People with many years and people who are also new may both be willing to talk. Our guide to the term oldtimer in AA offers background on longer experience. Choose contacts who are willing, respectful and suitable for the conversation you need.
If a call concerns a sober anniversary, ask what the person plans to do. You might offer to attend their meeting or ask whether they would enjoy a card. Our coin presentation wording guide can help if a keepsake has been agreed. Confirm the occasion before choosing the number.
Peer phone contact has practical limits. If there is immediate danger or a medical emergency, use local emergency services. For ordinary contact, a missed call may simply mean the person is busy. Keep the plan broad enough that reaching one unavailable person does not end your options.
Medallions to consider
If you are separately marking your own or a loved one’s AA sobriety anniversary, these are two personal keepsake options. Ask whether a gift is welcome and confirm the milestone before ordering.
Tricolor Jet Black Diamond Sparkle (1-50y)
The current selector lists 1 to 50 years. The catalog photo shows a sample inscription. Choose the confirmed milestone in the product selector.
Tricolor Jade Green (24h, 1-65y)
The current selector lists 24 Hours, 18 Months and 1 to 65 years. The catalog photo shows a sample inscription. Choose the confirmed milestone in the product selector.
Common questions
Can I text first?
Ask the person about their preferences. A short introduction and a request for a suitable call time may work well when they have agreed to texts.
Does giving me a number mean they are my sponsor?
Ask explicitly about sponsorship if that is the help you want. Exchanging numbers does not establish that arrangement.
Keep reading
Browse Elite Medallions and Deluxe Coins to compare current designs and milestone options.
